Stall Hogs at Work

This is just a late night rant, however, I am reflecting on my week at work. I am going to draw a picture. Let’s say that you walk into the lavatory at your work, there are eight stalls, four on the right and four on the left. When you walk in you are the only one in the lavatory. So you choose either the first or the last stall depending on which one is handicapped (we can be honest with each other sometimes we use the handicapped stall even if we are not). You hear two voices as you shut your stall door. Normally, the next two people will choose space over potty crowding. One of the new people will choose the opposite end of the bathroom and the other may choose the stall opposing you (this choice is made after one has walked down to the stall you are in and completed the feet check). As your golden shower flows, you see feet right next to you. It’s a new person who does not know the rules. Now, you must remember our story started with 8 stalls, and 3 people. The new person makes four. There is still space. Instead of doing the normal space and feet check, they pick the stall next to you. The reason this is annoying, is because this person, usually has some type of deadly gas, that is going to permeate before you can wipe yourself and roll out of the stall. Or, their morning coffee which acts as their laxative kicks in. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes you can’t hold the number 2. And sometimes you may have gas so bad you do not want anyone near where you sit to smell it. But, one must realize that crowding the potty stall and getting right next to another person is the same thing as letting it rip at your seat.

Here are the “new” rules for the Lavatory:

1. Check below the stall for feet before you take a seat.
2. If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be sure and wipe the seat.
3. The toilet comes with a big middle hole; please don’t splatter beyond the bowl. And if you do, please do not think it does not matter, when you return to your seat call the janitor.
4. Please do not put boogies on the stall wall; they are not a good sight to see at all.
5. Some people have sinkers, some people have floaters, a courtesy flush in between helps kill the odors.
6. One that we all fear, to walk in a stall, and find the bowl is not clear. Don’t be in to much of a rush, turn around and see it all flushed.
7. Maybe, this should have number one, if you are the first one to pick a stall, don’t be a twit and pick the middle one.
8. And the most important rule of all when you leave the stall, use soap and water to bubbles, it kills those germs which cause trouble.

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed. And remember to follow the rules.